My palms were sweating. My throat was dry. The first time I stood up for the ZEGG style Forum, I thought I was going to pass out…..
I can’t remember what I said, exactly, but I do remember the facilitator telling me to feel my discomfort and lean into it. Then I remember how I felt after sharing my self with the group…LIBERATED! There is no substitute for the relief of confession, the sweet empathy of a group of peers when your in pain, or the intoxicating power of being witnessed when you are in love!
Zegg style Forum has since become a cornerstone communication exercise in the San Diego Polyamory Community. We use it to: Resolve conflict, update our lovers, clear our emotions, create connection and most of all: experience more sustainable levels of self realization!
It is especially powerful for people who practice Polyamory because total honesty and transparency is the number one core value of most Poly communities. It’s also a way to ensure that multiple people who are sharing multiple lovers are all on the same sheet of music. It reduces misunderstandings, triangulation, and of course is efficient because you can do all your processing to the group instead of having to have multiple deep and meaningful relationship conversations. You can imagine how important this becomes when you have a dozen lovers. 🙂
What is Zegg-Forum? According to my Forum mentors from a Free Love commune in Germany, Ina Meyer-Stoll and Achim Ecker:
“The ZEGG-FORUM is a ritualized form of transparent communication for larger groups. One person, “the presenter” steps into the middle of the circle of the group and acts. It is like an existential stage, which includes the whole person with his/her physical and verbal expressions, his mind, his creativity and his feelings.
We developed Forum in 1978 to make all processes within a group in a longterm social experiment transparent and understandable for all involved. Since then we keep changing and expanding it. It was born from a desire for truth and healing, both personal and global. Forum creates an empathic social environment that supports us to stay present with all that is inside, however it may feel like. There is nothing wrong inside of me.
When feelings are hidden, life energy will get stuck. Stuck energies bread fear and violence. We aim for a life where feelings and energies are flowing freely; a life where we don’t avoid conflicts, but look at them as opportunities to go deeper. We seek a social environment where we are supported to be present with whatever feeling is in us and to stay fluid with it. Will we be present with the pain that we feel, the anger or the joy and then move on? We can study this way of being in the surprising changes of moods of young children. Forum can offer the fertile social “soil” for building community.”
For more info Visit the Zegg Forum Website.
Since more than 20 years Ina Meyer-Stoll and Achim Ecker live and work at the intentional community of ZEGG (www.zegg.de). They have lives many years in the prerunner community and have been deeply involved in the development of Forum and have trained and supervised groups at ZEGG and in Europe, South America and the USA. They are united by their deep care for people and for our planet. They live in a committed and polyamorous partnership for more than 14 years.”
PHOTO CAPTION: The cool panoramic picture was taken with an iphone at Kamala Devi’s monthly Polyamory Potluck where over 40 polyamorous people came to practice Zegg Style Forum and explore the question of: How can I let myself be better supported by the poly community?