First of all—This photo is not real.
It is enhanced with Face app/ AI photoshop to forecast what I might look like, hypothetically, If I had a sex change or at least facial masculinization surgery.
I had to start off with that disclaimer, for those who are following my gender journey and have been asking for an update on my taking testosterone.
Winter solstice is a time for deep deep dark introspection, and I’m reflecting on the transpersonal balance of masculine and feminine energies on earth, as well as in my own system.
The more my soul expands to meet the world soul, the more easily my awareness beams across the planet to feel the simultaneous dawn of summer solstice in the Southern Hemisphere. We are all encoded with light and dark frequencies, masculine and feminine, as well as animal and god codes.
Do you ever wonder what your inner opposite (masculine/feminine) would look like if you could shapeshift and/or change genders?
I do. All the time, when I look in the mirror, hang out with my sexy soul tribe and/or make love.
Today, A part of me is emerging from the shadows to introduce you to my inner masculine: Meet Salvador.
He’s an aspect of my personality, or an alter ego, which by the way, is different than my masculine soul, which is still different than my spirit husband (who is more of an otherworldly guide.)
Even though my body mostly expresses as high femme (complete with jewelry, lipstick, and mascara) I don’t feel like a lady.
Inside, I feel 100% hermaphroditic human. There’s a strong masculine presence that is driven by a deep sense of sacred purpose.
Even though many people consider me non-binary, I personally identify as gender transcendent. And although she/her is not wrong, I prefer they/them pronouns.
I truly love the psycho-spiritual effects that testosterone has had on my mental and emotional health, for the last year and a half, but if I’m honest, I’m a bit conflicted about the subtle physical changes the hormones are having on my form.
After many months of exploration, I’ve backed down to a lower dosage. I’ve decided I am not ready to commit to inducing masculine puberty (For now.) This decision has come as a compromise to some of my body dysphoria especially around my peri-menopause and I sometimes wrestle with not feeling trans, queer, or masculine enough. I also stopped attending an awesome local transmasculine support group, but the ultimate truth is:
This 3D body could never truly contain the depth of the divine masculine that I feel within, just as it could never encompass the full force of the sacred feminine.
As such, I’m working on accepting the limitations of the world of form while actively participating in achieving my own evolution and inspiring others towards living their potential.
To that end, I send the highest blessings on your path this winter solstice.