My lovers and I use the stoplight ????Metaphore. Green means go for it! ???? It’s used to celebrate a win/win arrangement in which everyone is benefitting. ???? Red light means stop and check-in to avoid unnecessary suffering. (It’s like an emergency brake so as to do no harm.)???? Yellow light is a little trickier. Discernment is needed as to whether to step on the gas or the brakes. Sometimes it’s best to lean into the growth edge but other times it’s better to slow down and give/take more space and time. So much drama and trauma are caused by running red lights or making a bad call on a yellow, but it takes a ton of maturity, vision, and compassion to hold for everyone’s green.

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