By now, You probably know what polyamory is.
The media has been abuzz about poly since the first season of Showtime’s landmark TV series, Polyamory: Married & Dating hit the airwaves….And if you have been watching the show, you probably already understand the difference between poly and swinging, yet, the most common question I still get is:
But isn’t that swining?
To which my answer is still…NO. Even though some swingers practice polyamory and some polyamorous people swing (like my husband.)
Swinging has it’s own culture, language and practices, Swinging is often referred to as “THE LIFESTYLE” and used to be called “WIFE SWAPPING.” It includes a wide range of sexual activities commonly conducted as an organized social activity between three or more people. It’s often engaged in by a primary couple and can be seen as a modified version of monogamy, involving sexual exploration without romantic or emotional bonds. Friendships and Bisexuality amongst women are considered OK but usually male homosexuality is not. The Lifestyle subculture has it’s own conferences, gatherings, parties, magazines, websites, email groups.
If your interested in how I answer this question, Here’s a fun little excerpt from my newly published ebook entited: Polyamory Roadmap by Baba Dez & Kamala Devi
BUT ISN’T THAT SWINGING?
The relationship between swinging and polyamory is
controversial. Most people agree that polyamory has more to
do with emotionally intimate, long-term relationships than
with one-night stands. Swinging is generally viewed as a
form of monogamy in which two primary partners agree to
have casual sex with other couples or singles, no strings
attached. Swingers may continue to sleep with the same
people for years, but they usually don’t go on romantic
dates and/or process deep emotional issues together.
Baba Dez believes swingers are a category unto themselves.
They have their own organizations, newsletters, conferences
and contact networks under the label “lifestyle”. The
interactions of many swingers, as seen online, is often
sexually explicit and overly concerned with superficial
appearances. Swinging is rarely practiced as a spiritual
pursuit. Most polyamory and Tantra practitioners, by
comparison, do not approve of recreational sex.
Kamala Devi, in contrast, considers swinging to be a subset
of polyamory. As long as the individuals are practicing
responsible and honest communication, it is only a slightly
different love style with a stronger emphasis on sex. The
poly and swing communities, in Kamala Devi’s point of view, are
allies under the umbrella of open relationships. We have
seen many friends and clients who started out swinging and
have matured and transitioned into intimate emotional
connections. We have also seen many poly people have sexual
awakenings that allowed them to let go of their judgment of
sex for sex’s sake.
If you enjoyed this excerpt, you can download the full ebook: Polyamory Roadmap by Baba Dez & Kamala Devi simply Click Here.
